Life is a rainbow...

Been going through 23 rainy seasons already, I am sometimes still considered as a young soul. I'm not sure at what age people say a life has begun. Some even say your life won't begin until you find your missing puzzle piece. Partly, I think that is true. My life, though, has started 23 years ago, but somehow it had never got close to being complete. Not til I found this one comfy place on the rainbow, I call it "Grace".

I do not like the rain, and I hate getting wet. Wandering around with my little umbrella, I ran for shelters the world offered from one to another. I seeked for acceptance and cried for attention. I felt secure when I looked like girls from the magazines. Makeup was so important that I could not live without. However, the acceptance and love the world gave me was so conditional and my happiness did not last. I yearned to be loved and cherished by a man who I tried to make him become the prince of my dream. Of course he failed me and I ended up hurting him greatly.
I believed in God and I loved him but I did not believe He was enough for me. I needed the 'extras' to perfect my princess dream.

Jesus is enough. The truest truth I simply ignored. He is my all in all. The acceptance I seeked is found here in Christ. No matter how ugly are the sins I commited, He sees me holy and beautiful. Jesus accepts me as who I am. He created me in his own image, beautiful and dignified. I'm not dependent on makeup or expensive clothes anymore. This is such a fresh understanding God's put into my heart. And for love, I see now that the relationship on earth is meant to be a reflection of the perfect intended fellowship that we have with God. Any mereman cannot fulfil all my needs. My truly desire is someone perfect, and Jesus Christ alone is perfect. Only He can fulfill my heart's desires. Psalm 107:9 says, "For He satisfiies the longing soul." Jesus became my Lord, my savior, my creator, my brother, my hope, my helper, my healer, my teacher, my example, my refiner, my purifier, my joy, my peace, my need, my wisdom, my all in all... Though His lavish grace, my very heart is satisfied.


My life is rainbow painted colorfully just for me by the one who created me, who knows me even more than I know myself. And at the end of the rainbow, one day, I'll see the love of my soul face to face.